Now for the real EIS - or at least the union's further education brothers and sisters at Inverness College. These friends in the north are no friends of the pedestrian press release. A recent missive began: "The latest exciting chapter in the story of ordinary Highland folk fighting for jobs and education in the only four-way marginal in the country."
After "the story so far" we are introduced to "The Characters": * The Staff - "a plucky band of decent folk who want to save their jobs and the educational provision in the area."
* The Principal - "Janet 'Cut' Price, who won't stand by her staff and has gone on TV to say that she runs 'one of the most inefficient colleges in the country'."
* The Parliamentary Hopefuls - "a band of gallant gentlemen who may disagree on other matters but are right behind the staff on this one. They are (in no particular order because we love them all) Charles Kennedy (SLD), Donnie Munro (Lab), Euan Harper (SNP), Dave Stewart (Lab), Fergus Ewing (SNP), Stephen Gallagher (SLD)."
* The Parliamentary Hopeless - "Mary 'Mary Doll' Scanlon (Tory), herself a lecturer at the college who has offered her colleagues no support and thinks that the principal is 'doing the right thing'."
With apologies to Cut Price and Mary Doll, we really must give this our little noticed but occasional award for Liveliest News Release of the Year.