Pupil: "How old are you, Sir?"
Teacher: "I was 49 on October 12 last year."
Pupil: "When will you be 50?"
ALAN BENNETT, LIVERPOOL
During our first teaching practice, a friend told a textiles class she was "just going into the cupboard to get felt". She has never lived it down.
MANDY MINETT, CAMBRIDGE
We pay pound;40 for each Soundbite published. Send yours to Jill Craven, Friday, 66-68 East Smithfield, London E1W 1BX. Or email: email@example.com