* During a Year 6 sex and hygiene education lesson, the children were encouraged to use the correct vocabulary for male and female reproductive organs. During a later discussion, they were asked how they thought babies were made.
A boy thrust his hand high into the air: "A man puts his penis in a woman's verandah."
* My class was given a map of the Earth depicting various types of terrain and were asked to describe their journey across the planet.
One ever-keen child wrote: "After several hours of walking across the bumpy ground I realised my left leg was a king."
We pay pound;30 for each Soundbite published. Send yours to Jill Craven, The TES, 66-68 East Smithfield, London E1W 1BX.Or e-mail her on: firstname.lastname@example.org