* At one time I was responsible for handing out italic pens in a primary school. Because of the nature of italic nbs, I had to know which hand children wrote with. Often they didn't know and I would suggest they wrote a word so I could see. Usually they wrote their names. One day I chanced to look at the scrap of paper a little girl had used before I threw it away. She had written: "Help."
* As I was teaching a class of 15-year-olds, one lad put up his hand and asked: "Sir, you're in a bad mood and you're wearing a suit. Are you getting married?" JIM UPTON