* "The angel came to Joseph," said the teacher, "and told him to take the young child and his mother, and flee to Egypt. I'd like you to paint a picture of their flight."
Jamie's painting showed blue sky above a yellow desert. In the sky was a plane. In its cockpit were four people and a black squiggle.
Miss Dunn was puzzled.
"Why are they in an aeroplane?" "For the flight to Egypt, Miss."
"Who are these three people?" "That's Mary, Joseph and the baby Jesus, iss."
"And what's this black thing?" "That's the flea, Miss. You said Joseph had to take Jesus, Mary and flea to Egypt."
"I see. And who is this other person flying the plane?" "Pontius the Pilate," said Jamie proudly.
* While teaching a Year 7 class, a pupil came up to me waving a blank sheet of A4 paper. "Please Miss," she said. "This is the last piece of plain A4 paper in the drawer. Shall I go and photocopy some more?" GILL MARSDEN