9th March 2001 at 00:00
* In a recent mock GCSE religious studies exam, I asked: "What were the last words Jesus spoke at the Crucifixion?" Back came the reply: "See you Sunday."


* It's the first day of term and the seven-year-old pupil points accusingly at the container of meatballs. "Yuck, what are those?" "They're meatballs. Why don't you try them?" I reply. He walks away with a couple on his plate with soe potatoes. A few minutes later his hand shoots up and in a loud voice he shouts: "Please Sir, I don't like these bollocks of meat."


* The Year 1 teacher was having trouble accessing a computer program and, to a disappointed class, announced that the PC had "frozen". Half an hour later Luke approached the teacher's desk to ask if the computer had thawed out yet.


Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?


To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers


Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar,, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today