13th April 2001 at 01:00
l Just before Christmas, the head told the children in assembly that Mr Chard (that's me, the school caretaker) would also be a school meals assistant in the new year. As I was leaving that day, a Year 4 pupil asked me: "Are you going to be a dinner lady after Christmas?" "I can't be a dinner lady because I'm a man," I said. "Yes you can. You can have a transplant."


* I was handing out the school copies o Goodnight Mr Tom to my Year 6 class, aware that some had their own editions at home. One such boy said, very seriously: "This is by the same person who wrote mine."


* Teaching key skills - communication - to adult construction craft students, I started to address sentence structures. "What do you think a sentence is," I asked. One of the students quickly answered: "Three months?" PETER JONES

Subscribe to get access to the content on this page.

If you are already a Tes/ Tes Scotland subscriber please log in with your username or email address to get full access to our back issues, CPD library and membership plus page.

Not a subscriber? Find out more about our subscription offers.
Subscribe now
Existing subscriber?
Enter subscription number


The guide by your side – ensuring you are always up to date with the latest in education.

Get Tes magazine online and delivered to your door. Stay up to date with the latest research, teacher innovation and insight, plus classroom tips and techniques with a Tes magazine subscription.
With a Tes magazine subscription you get exclusive access to our CPD library. Including our New Teachers’ special for NQTS, Ed Tech, How to Get a Job, Trip Planner, Ed Biz Special and all Tes back issues.

Subscribe now