Stings in the red-top tales
It's probably not the news you wanted to hear, but teachers, it seems, are like everybody else. They concede that they may, on occasion - through no fault of their own - have had cause to peruse (but only briefly) the pages of the News of the World.
But prurient interest in the private lives of others held no enjoyment for them. Salacious tales of the wrong-doings of the powerful and famous were not to their taste and they wouldn't be seen dead actually buying a copy of the red-top.
modelmaker is fairly typical when they claim they have never bought NotW for themselves, although they read it in their youth - but only because their father was a reader so there was a copy in the house. Let's hope they weren't spotted in their local newsagent queuing for the final commemorative issue.
And mention of private detectives seems to encourage the conspiracy theorists. "Can you be certain that state-run organisations such as the police and benefits offices don't use similar tactics?" Oh come on, let's not get hysterical.
It's a relief to discover that not everyone is obsessing about goings-on in Wapping. airy confesses to a "hankering for bees" but admits to feeling "a bit unprepared". How sensible to proceed with caution. Snowstorm's friend, a bee keeper, was stung while mowing the lawn. He had to go to Aamp;E and now has his arm in a sling. "Not for the faint-hearted" is snowstorm's wise advice to aspiring apiarists.
But the posters can't keep away from the NotW. And some of The TES's more sensitive journalists winced at Giraffe's jibe about the unfortunate hacks who now find themselves jobless through no fault of their own: "Don't these so-called journalists claim that life on the dole is cushy?" asks Giraffe.