The latest set of performance indicators for detecting stress in headteachers has just been issued by the Scottish Office. Heads are stressed when they:
* Think they understand value-added, target-setting and standard-raising.
* Start smiling at staff meetings.
* Repeat the same sentence without realising it.
* Take until after their morning coffee to complete the crossword.
* Think they can actually implement environmental studies 5-14.
* Repeat the same sentence over and over again without realising it.
(Source: the B McGettrick guide to headteacher survival)