Shame on you for thinking some students are lazy - they are in fact suffering none other than "Abused Student Syndrome", according to experts in the US.
Which means, sooner or later, ASS, as it will inevitably become known, will arrive on English soil.
According to work at UCLA college in California, the student "may study and know the materials, but the test is not fair and consequently heshe fails."
Or "problems may arise in human relations where the student does not always get what heshe wants". Or lecturers may use "scare tactics", the student might not be getting the support they need or, more seriously, the student might be suffering discrimination because of race, disability or appearance.
If the student suffers two of the above then bingo, they have ASS.
The UCLA's ASS web page isn't serious, of course. (Please, tell me it isn't serious.) But on the other hand, if schools can get extra funding by diagnosing lazy pupils with previously unknown disorders, why not colleges?
Email us FErret@tes.co.uk