Sweet FE

23rd January 1998 at 00:00
NATFHE:

If the principal's still talking, no need to get the braziers out just yet

National curriculum:

More death by ring binders

National expenditure:

Don't be bitter.

National learning line:

When a lecturer from one college rings a colleague in another with news about (a) the 1998 budget and (b) new breathing exercises

Nationally-accredited qualification:

Even the Daily Mail and half the Tory party have to recognise it National training taskforce:

Whatever it is you're doing, you're obviously doing it all wrong

Nationalisation:

Er, look, aren't we supposed to have all got over that womb to Portakabin dependency culture stuff?

Natural wastage:

It's not always your fault. That's just the way the cookie crumbles sometimes honey

Needs:

Don't say that when you were a student you didn't have them, you just played the latest Leonard Cohen record and decided you didn't feel "that" suicidal

Negotiated programmes:

We'll call it anything if the clients promise to leave the refectory and do some work

Negotiating office:

Sort of like being a member of ACAS but without the international glamour

Negotiations:

We all know it's good to talk but surely four years over the Silver Book agreement is a little bit extreme

Networking:

Meeting someone for lunch, as you've decided you'd quite like their job. And, no, it's not anyone in FE stupid

New college culture:

Calls students customers and makes you report to a Klingon-speaking business manager. Makes you feel like a Socialist Worker seller when you ask what all this has to do with education

New deal:

Hope against hope

New Labour:

And to think you stayed up all night to see Portillo defeated

New money:

Where?

Non-verbal communication:

At least you can claim your students are good at something

Numbers:

Do principals dream of double-packed Portakabins?

Numeracy:

Ever noticed that when you add all your holiday entitlements up you always seem to get such a miserably low figure? There something funny somewhere

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