Sweet FE;FE Focus

27th February 1998 at 00:00
Radical restructuring

Will the last person left please turn off the lights?

Rating

Always release it on a Bank Holiday when most people are away.

Reactive

Also known as "what fresh hell is this?" or "what's this in my pigeon hole?" Obviously better to be pro-active (e.g. leave FE.) Real terms cut

Who on earth wants a mere cut when they can have a real terms cut?

Records of achievement

If surviving this long in FE isn't one, we don't know what is.

Recessionary effects

Sadly always good for getting your salary rise down to one-per-cent.

Recovery plan

A lunchtime pint in The Dog and Duck.

Redundancy

We've told Deirdre in Human Resources to call it downsizing but she will insist on making it sound less caring.

Regeneration programme

Deciding to spend the whole afternoon in The Dog and Duck

Regional forum

Thirty eight colleges discover what they have in common and it's not good Register checks

Sector heads really seem to think you spend all your week alone engaged in auto-erotic sex acts in Portakabins.

Registers

FE is thankfully dedicated to the 3Rs - registers, registers, registers.

Retention

Michael Burgess

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