Thank God it's Friday

14th February 2003 at 00:00
MONDAY First test of the week comes while helping a Year 4 group with their writinG task. The test has three components. Can I balance on a chair meant for a seven-year-old's bum for 20 minutes? Can I hide the flesh overhang on either side? Can I get out of it without inducing a stroke?

TUESDAY Second test arrives in the form of a new (to us) car. I've got to drive it to my school placement on Thursday so I have to practise. Bad news: it's gotpower steering, which our old one didn't have, so I'm doing U-turns when I meant to turn right. Good news: it's red, not puke colour.

More bad news: the fan only works on the "3" setting so it's gale-force or nothing. More good news: I fit into the seat.

WEDNESDAY Third test. Can I still steal? The last time I did it I was 14 and my booty was a pocketful of pick'n'mix from Woolworths. This time, it's a TTA publication on how to pass your numeracy skills test. It's sitting in the resources room, and there's no one to ask, and I really, really need it. I pass this particular test with flying colours.

THURSDAY Test number four comes as I observe a Year 7 class doing literacy.

I do this test quietly in my head so the teacher (my mentor) doesn't catch on. Q: Do I know the difference between a homophone and a homonym? A: No, I thought they were the same thing.

FRIDAY Two tests today. First, literacy key skills. Then, numeracy. I pass the literacy. I'm more pleased, however, that I spotted a typing error in the test and vow to write to Mr Clarke. I also pass the numeracy, though probably only just. I'm relieved about the results, and that I fitted into the seat. I can't concentrate on tests if I'm worried about the overhang.

Fran Hill is studying for a PGCE in secondary English at Brunel University

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