Monday: After a relaxing holiday, I am ready for the new term. Unfortunately my car has other ideas. My husband (also a teacher and also keen to get back to school) ends up taking me to work, huffing and puffing all the way.
I ask a colleague, who lives nearby, for a lift home. She gladly obliges.
Tuesday: PE this term is focusing on racket skills. All is going well until I spot Brandon brandishing his racket in close proximity to his partner. I move in to intervene. Brandon mistakes my fingers for the ball. What an excellent aim he has developed. Brandon bursts into tears as my fingers double in size and turn an interesting shade of green.
Wednesday: I am taking assembly when the head informs me of a change of plan. Instead of listening to the story of Jonah, we are to have a visit from a clown. Chaos erupts as the visitor wheels round the hall on his unicycle and falls into a Year 1 child's lap while she howls with laughter.
The children are loving every minute, and I find myself crying tears of joy. I look round the room at my stony-faced colleagues. No clown visits next year then.
Thursday: My car is back in action just in time for parents' evening.
Instead of the regular parentteacher meetings, we have set up "curriculum rooms" where parents can peruse and experience various parts of the school day. I have been lumbered with the music area. The children and parents love banging the drums and shaking the tambourines. I smile weakly and look at the clock slowly ticking. My ears ring as I drive home in my revamped car.
Friday: I can't believe we have been back at school only a week. A parent rings to ask for an appointment. She is concerned that Charlotte has started eating the carpet at home. Has she displayed such behaviour at school? What do I recommend she does? I assure her that there has been no carpet snacking that I know of this week, and recommend she buys some lino.
Rebecca Brown teaches at an infant school in the south-west. She writes under a pseudonym