The summer's over and let's face it, you're not getting any younger. So isn't it time you finally embraced your middle age and attended some of the delightful walking, drinking, eating and folk festivals happening this autumn?
What's that you say? Have I got the number for that Dutch euthanasia clinic you read about in the papers? I'm afraid not. Failing that, I think you'll agree that a spate of charming community festivals is the perfect way to while away the countless hours until death as Glastonbury and Bestival fade into the distance, and certainly far less painful than any of those nasty injections.
For starters, the Coniston Walking Festival is the perfect way to admire the timeless beauty of the Lake District, while dusting off those expensive walking boots you've never used; the Richmond Walking and Book Festival in south London combines pleasures of the ambulatory variety with more traditional literary festival fare; and the Victor Hugo Festival in Guernsey, a mix of classical and folk, is billed as the Channel Islands' answer to Glastonbury. All events kick off this weekend.