These are challenging times at Cleveden Secondary in Glasgow, slowly being rebuilt under a much contested public private partnership. Toasters recently delivered to the new staff bases were so effective that they set off the brand new fire alarms (PPP-supplied of course).
Following the building's evacuation, the toasters were gathered back in again. Some members of saff were then spotted bearing them off the premises.
The ever-alert Educational Institute of Scotland rep felt moved to write to the assistant head demanding to know what council policy was on toasters that are surplus to requirements. The AHT replied solemnly that all toasters were to be reclaimed and dumped in a skip.
You really couldn't make it up.