It's time to nail your brain shut and glue your world to the floor, people, unless you want the former to be blown to smithereens and the latter to be so liberally rocked that you become dizzier than Su Pollard in an intergalactic tumble drier - yes, you guessed it, Coldplay are releasing an "experimental" album.
That's right, apparently sick of serving as a soundtrack for school discos and daytime TV links, Chris Martin and co (pictured) have decided to release a record that tackles the biggies - "sex and death, and love and fear and travel and girls and illness" - according to a recent interview. They've hired Brian Eno as producer and ditched the big guitar anthems. "We decided it was time to push what the band can do forward," opined Ms Paltrow's bag carrier.
With this in mind, fans will be surprised to discover that the first single, "Violet Hill", is yet another big guitar anthem. In fact, with its plodding rhythm section, drippy vocals and lyrics that sound like something a sexually rejected web designer would scream through your letterbox ("if you love me, won't you let me knooooow?"), it's typical Coldplay. Sure, the production's muckier, the guitars are louder, but that just makes it sound a bit like Phil Collins. Who knows? Maybe the album will surprise us. Viva la Vida is out on June 12.