This weekNext week
20-26 OCTOBER 2012
Teachers joined anti-austerity marches in London, Belfast and Glasgow. Branches of Starbucks were tightly guarded after revelations of their tax-avoidance schemes. "But I'm gasping for a coffee, officer."
It's not just the girls. A study by the American Academy of Pediatrics found that boys are hitting puberty earlier, too. And how did they come to this conclusion? They measured their testicles, of course.
Crying over Cambridge
"They talked about Eton and skiing." Skyfall actress Naomie Harris said she cried every day at the University of Cambridge because she didn't fit in with the posh students. Not what its PR people wanted to hear ...
Je suis desole
Michael Gove admitted "asking clever-Dick questions" and being a "pathetic show off". No, not in Parliament; in school French lessons. The education secretary apologised to his French teacher in an open letter.
Forgive and forget
The selective Latymer School in Enfield, North London, was chastised by the Local Government Ombudsman after it refused to admit a pupil to its sixth form because of an incident of bad behaviour.
He's got class
The Cambridge Union Society invited former London Mayor Ken Livingstone to take part in a debate on social class in Britain. An understandable obsession at a university still accused of being too elitist.
Draped in finery
Roll out the red carpet, polish the teapot and spread out the doilies: Drapers' Academy in Romford was preparing for its new building to be officially opened by the Queen. It was uncertain if the corgis would attend.
27 OCTOBER - 2 NOVEMBER 2012
The summer seems as if it was aeons ago, the drizzle never gives up and the staff are knackered. Thank the Lord it's half-term at last for some teachers. Marking, anyone?
Mourning the end of summer
Britain will be plunged into months of darkness as the clocks go back, so rummage through your lofts for anti-seasonal affective disorder light boxes. But at least you can celebrate an extra hour of Sunday.
What do we want? libraries!
There's nothing scarier for politicians than angry bookworms: a lobby group, including teachers, authors, parents and pupils, is set to descend on Westminster calling for school libraries to be protected by law.
Daniel Leer, from Henley-on-Thames in Oxfordshire, is to appear in court facing charges of indecent exposure after streaking during the Olympic torch relay this summer. He denies the allegations.
Hollow out your pumpkin and overdose on jelly sweets in the shape of fangs: it's Halloween. Avoid annoying trick-or-treaters by hiding in the upstairs toilet. Or just confront them wearing a Michael Gove mask.
Upper lips at the ready
The start of "Movember", the month when men are urged to grow moustaches in aid of prostate cancer research. But will you delight your pupils with an elegant retro handlebar or a stubbly abomination?
Shakespeare centre stage
Young thespians have one last chance to polish "To be or not to be". The Shakespeare Schools Festival - for which 700 schools are staging 30-minute productions of the Bard's plays in theatres - is nearing its end.