1 Opus Dei is to sue the Da Vinci Code film for misrepresentation. Where will this lead?
a Satan will sue Milton b Tony Blair will sue Rory Bremner c Moby Dick will sue Herman Melville d A small Russian rock will sue MI6
2 A dentist has been struck off for allowing her boyfriend to work on patients. What consequences will this have?
a Pupils will be struck off for letting parents do their homework b Tony Blair will be struck off for letting Ruth Kelly run the Department for Education c God will be struck off for letting Bill Gates rule the world d David Blunkett will be struck off because, well, it's been a few months since the last time
3 A Spanish museum has lost a 38-tonne statue. What will be next?
a MI6 will lose a small Russian rock b The British Museum will lose its marbles c George Galloway will lose his marbles d The Liberal Democrats will lose the plot
4 The sequel to Peter Pan is due for publication. What will happen?
a The National Union of Pirates will sue for misrepresentation b Wendy will sue for custody of the lost boys c Pan will be struck off for flying without a licence d JM Barrie will be struck off for letting Geraldine McCaughrean write it
5 A whale swam up the Thames. What will follow?
a A fleet of Japanese trawlers b A ticking crocodile c The Opus Dei naval detachment, looking for a regurgitated prophet d A film crew with a script for Carry On Up the Spout
QUIZ ANSWERS: 1b, 2b, 3a, 4d, 5c