Were you paying attention?

10th February 2006 at 00:00
1 A Teachers' TV programme has been scheduled amongst a lot of porn. Where will this lead?

a A sudden interest in education from teenage boys b A sudden interest in education from teachers c The TES will be stocked on the top shelf d The Open University will be swamped by dirty old men

2 Superman is being used to make religious education lessons more appealing. What will follow?

a They'll believe that God can fly b They'll believe that Heaven is full of telephone boxes c Batman will be used to make botany classes more appealing d Xena: Warrior Princess will be used to make art classes more appealing

3 A survey has shown that tall Swedish men get a better education. What can we surmise from this?

a To constantly drive up standards, Ruth Kelly will invite tall Swedish five-year-olds to study in Britain b Short Swedish men can't reach The TES c Superman is really blond d Jeremy Paxman is really Swedish

4 A 13-year-old pupil has been expelled 38 times in 18 months. What do teachers say?

a Why have we had him back 38 times?

b He wants to be a yo-yo when he grows up c They must have used George Galloway to make his lessons more appealing d He's obviously not Swedish, then

5 Forty drunk Viennese songbirds died after crashing into window panes.

What were they singing?

a The Champagne Polka b Wine, Women and Song c Die Fledermaus d Quails from the Vienna Woods

Quiz answers: 1c, 2d, 3b, 4a, 5d

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