1 A Teachers' TV programme has been scheduled amongst a lot of porn. Where will this lead?
a A sudden interest in education from teenage boys b A sudden interest in education from teachers c The TES will be stocked on the top shelf d The Open University will be swamped by dirty old men
2 Superman is being used to make religious education lessons more appealing. What will follow?
a They'll believe that God can fly b They'll believe that Heaven is full of telephone boxes c Batman will be used to make botany classes more appealing d Xena: Warrior Princess will be used to make art classes more appealing
3 A survey has shown that tall Swedish men get a better education. What can we surmise from this?
a To constantly drive up standards, Ruth Kelly will invite tall Swedish five-year-olds to study in Britain b Short Swedish men can't reach The TES c Superman is really blond d Jeremy Paxman is really Swedish
4 A 13-year-old pupil has been expelled 38 times in 18 months. What do teachers say?
a Why have we had him back 38 times?
b He wants to be a yo-yo when he grows up c They must have used George Galloway to make his lessons more appealing d He's obviously not Swedish, then
5 Forty drunk Viennese songbirds died after crashing into window panes.
What were they singing?
a The Champagne Polka b Wine, Women and Song c Die Fledermaus d Quails from the Vienna Woods
Quiz answers: 1c, 2d, 3b, 4a, 5d