1 Pencil sharpeners have been banned in a primary school because children were breaking them to get the blades out. What else should be banned?
a Sharp pencils
c Blunt instruments
d Homicidal nine-year-olds
2 Teachers are near the top of the list for unpaid overtime. What do teachers say?
a It's the underpaid ordinary time that gets me
b I spend most of it sharpening pencils
c It's worth it to see those shining little faces
d Why won't they give me an even break?
3 Campaigners want Britain to go metric in time for the Olympics. What do teachers think?
a Not in my back metre
b Can we vote with our feet?
c I think ten-week terms are a good idea
d Do you mind? I've got all these pencils to sharpen
4 Prostitutes have been soliciting fathers outside school gates. What do the teachers say?
a It's the ones on the inside I worry about
b I bet they don't do unpaid overtime
c I knew that girl wouldn't go far
d Isn't that the careers officer?
5 The French are calling for lessons in EU values and history. What do they want covered?
a De Gaulle, Pompidou, Giscard d'Estaing
b Mitterand, Chirac
c Farm subsidies
d Le pied et bouche anglais