1 In China a woman's dog crashed during a driving lesson. What does the woman say?
b Don't keep stopping at the lamp-posts
c That is not what the gear stick is for
d Neither is that
2 Scientists have shown that couples whose lips are the same size are more likely to stay together. What do couples say?
a We stayed together through thick and thin
b Collagen saved our marriage
c Our lips met across a crowded room
d I lied when I said size doesn't matter
3 Councils are secretly putting surveillance chips in wheelie bins. What do they find?
a A load of rubbish
b More chips
c Used collagen
d Chewed up driving manuals in Chinese
4 Keith Richards is facing a pound;50 fine for smoking during a Rolling Stones gig in Glasgow. What was the legendary rocker doing?
a A drag act
c Showing off his lips
d Not worrying very much about a pound;50 fine
5 Channel 4 has been accused of being too downmarket. What are the new season highlights?
a A Load of Rubbish
b Chinese Dogs do the Funniest Things
c Lip-Size Island
d When Stars Inhale
Answers: 1b, 2c, 3a, 4d, 5a