1 There has been a big rise in the number of lollipop ladies, some as young as 18. What do teenagers say?
a I'll suck it and see.
b It's cheaper than university.
c I always wanted to stop the traffic.
d Sometimes, the middle of the road is a good place to be.
2 Lebanese wine sales are at an all-time high. What do the Lebanese say?
a I'll sup it and see.
b It's also good for putting out fires.
c I want to eat, drink and be merry.
d Sometimes, a catatonic stupor is a good place to be.
3 The New York Times has appointed a perfume critic. What must he be able to do?
a Smell it and see.
b Follow his nose.
c Cope with the relentless ridicule.
d Resist the vast amounts of cash in brown envelopes.
4 There has been a big fall in numbers taking modern-language GCSEs. Why is this?
a You don't need French to hold a five-foot lollipop in the middle of the road.
b Or German.
c Or Mandarin Chinese.
d All of the above.
5 Britain is the most burgled nation in Europe. Why?
a The GCSE in locksmithing has been dumbed down.
b Lollipop people need to supplement their income.
c Foreigners have nothing worth stealing.
d Foreign burglars come here for their holidays.
QUIZ ANSWERS: 1b, 2d, 3c, 4d, 5a