1 Fewer than one in 20 teachers want to be heads. What do the teachers say?
a Nineteen out of 20 teachers have more sense
b One in 20 teachers is a power-hungry despot manque
c It's a dirty job, but someone else has to do it
d Go away, I've got 200 homeworks to mark
2 The director-general of the CBI says an influx of immigrants from Romania and Bulgaria will threaten the social fabric. What will we get?
c Power-hungry despots manques
d Headteachers with big earrings and flashing eyes. And that's just the men
3 The Chinese have banned strippers at funerals. What does this mean?
a Britain's social fabric will be threatened by an influx of Chinese strippers
b There will be a sharp decline in the number of Chinese funerals
c A vice squad (funerals) will have to be set up
d Spearmint Panda will make a fortune
4 A memo has given suggestions for Tony Blair's exit strategy. What is on the wish-list?
a A visit to an old Romanian castle. Alone. After dark
b A visit to Spearmint Panda
c A visit to the next door power-hungry despot manque
5 The PlayStation 3 won't be ready for Christmas. What can people do instead?
a Play with PlayStation 2
b Talk to the next door power-hungry despot manque
d Threaten the social fabric