1 The next James Bond is going to be blond. What are hair stylists thinking?
a I bet he dyes before long
b Dye another Day
c Tomorrow never Dyes
d Golden Dye
2 MI6 has launched a recruitment website. What will careers advice officers say?
a Just call me M
b Have you considered dying your hair?
c Have you considered dying horribly in a faraway place?
d Now that you're 16, how would you like a licence to kill?
3 A headteacher recently produced a gun in a harvest festival assembly.
What did the other teachers think?
a I knew this would happen when she dyed her hair blonde
b It's better than bottling it up
c I thought it was a courgette
d And your point is?
4 Chinese scientists have discovered a 4,000-year-old bowl of noodles. What do teachers say?
a I've got a class of 12-year-old noodles they can have
b They'll go nicely with some 100-year-old eggs
c That's funny, we've just found some 4,000-year-old Turkey Twizzlers
d I'd rather have a courgette
5 The government is pushing for healthier school lunches. What is the reaction in the staffroom?
a What are we going to do with the 4,000-year-old Turkey Twizzlers?
b Can we shoot them if they eat chips?
c Can they shoot us if we eat chips?
d Sheer hypocrisy. If they're going to die horribly in a faraway place, why they can't do it in the canteen?
QUIZ ANSWERS: 1a, 2a, 3d, 4b, 5d