Were you paying attention?

28th October 2005 at 01:00
1 A headteacher handed out chocolate to his pupils after none had to be excluded for half a term. What will be next?

a The great sugar rush riots of 2005

b The great tooth fairies' strike of 2006

c The great acne outbreak of 2007

d The great government education fudge of 2009

2 The Pope has created five new saints. What do you have to do to be a saint?

a Teach 2B on a wet Thursday afternoon

b Give chocolates to naughty children

c Negotiate with a mob of belligerent tooth fairies

d Die

3 Homer Simpson has been voted philosopher of the decade by experts from Men's Health magazine. What deep questions does this raise?

a Experts in what?

b Has anyone told Homer?

c Do they do saints as well?

d What does all this mean?

4 An expert says that computers damage children's brains. What do teachers say?

a This lot will be all right then

b I never liked the head of IT anyway

c At least their teeth won't fall out

d Define 'damage'

5 A survey has found that one in three people buy books to look intelligent. What books do they buy?

a The Simpsons Omnibus

b The Effective Deployment of Chocolate in the Educational Environment

c The Psychology of the Tooth Fairy

d Computing for Dummies

ANSWERS: 1a, 2d, 3a, 4c, 5b

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