Wheeze dispenses with iron bladder

1st September 2006 at 01:00
Back to work next week, and guess what is being recommended to teachers as a must-have item to cope with the rigours of the school day? The Diary hardly knows how to explain this, but help is at hand on the gadget's official website.

"The Whiz is a small, ingenious device created to revolutionise every woman's life. Hygenic, comfortable and easy-to-use, the Whiz means that women can now pass urine in all those situations where previously it has been difficult or embarrassing to do so." The accompanying photograph suggests something like a high-tech funnel.

So now you've got it. Nothing to do with marking, assessment, or planning, but everything to do with the iron bladder control required by teachers to survive the school day - a problem being discussed at some length on the TES online staffroom.

According to the teacher recommending the Whiz, it means: "You can pop into the cupboard, do what you have to and no trekking to the damned loos."

Other correspondents, however, are made of sterner stuff, apparently being possessed of bladders a camel might envy and boasting of an ability to go without going for 12 hours or more, despite dire warnings of kidney problems to come from their colleagues.

"You have to retrain yourself after the summer holidays too. Takes a week or so but then you can keep it in for hours. Very useful skill to have when going to festivals or on long coach journeys!" says one.

Lilyofthefield adds: "Good job I did all my pelvic floor exercises after I had the kids. I bet I could hold back the banks of the Ganges."

But the last, doleful, word should go to Crucible. "I sent a note with a child to the office asking if someone could cover my class while I popped to the loo. The headteacher sent back a rubber band."

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?


To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers


Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar, Buyagift.com, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today