Who are you today, Sir? Liverpool?
"Who are you today, Sir? Liverpool?" asked Tibbut.
"Rubbish, lad! Don't you know your club colours yet?"
"Liverpool are red, aren't they, Sir?"
"Yes, but they're all red: shirts, shorts and stockings. These are Manchester United's colours."
"Course they are, Sir. I forgot. What position are you playing?"
Mr Sugden turned his back to show him the number 9.
"Bobby Charlton? I thought you were usually Denis Law when you were Manchester United."
"It's too cold to play as striker today. I'm scheming this morning, all over the field like Charlton."
"Law plays all over, Sir. He's not only a striker."
"He doesn't link like Charlton."
"Better player, though, Sir."
Sugden shook his head. "No. he's been badly off form recently."
"Makes no odds, he's still a better player. He can settle a game in two minutes."
"Are you trying to tell me about football, Tibbut?"
"Well shut up, then. Anyway, Law's in the wash this week."
Adapted from 'A Kestrel for a Knave' by Barry Hines (Penguin Books)