Yoofspeak

24th December 2010 at 00:00
Ones (n)

Means: Being on your own

Usage: "Everyone's bunked off, looks like I'm on me ones"

From years of perilous study, playground explorers have ascertained that the Yoof primarily travel in packs, in a primitive camouflage of modified school uniform and identikit overly expensive sportswear, to make them less susceptible to being identified and picked off by wily teachers and overly observant corner-shop owners. So institutionalised to this mentality are the Yoof, in fact, that when one loses the herd, they quickly become lonely, self-doubting and aggressive. "Ones" is the self-explanatory slang result, its throwaway chirpiness attempting to mask the ever-present fear of flying solo in a modern world where there is safety in both numbers and contempt for traditional grammar.

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