Monday As I queue for the photocopier, I count three purple and green collapsible trolleys in the line. I congratulate myself on having the first. When I attended the NQT induction day in the autumn term, our head said she welcomed our youth, vitality and initiative. I had no chance with the youth aspect, vitality was questionable but, boy, can I initiate. The mail-order trolley I bought is breeding like a rabbit.

Tuesday A colleague, studying digital images of Year 3 children preparing display work for our creative partnership initiative, spots a trolley in every shot. From now on, they’ll always be there, like Hitchcock.

wednesday I congratulate myself on my competent three-point turns: I whizz into the staffroom at 8.35am and check the bulletin board for a staff briefing, adeptly manoeuvre my trolley and get back through the swing door without trapping any wheels, move rapidly down the corridor to the far echelons of key stage 2, tuck the trolley under the desk in Room 23 and get back in time for the head’s arrival at 8.40am.

thursday Our year group are beside themselves with excitement about the first inter-house football tournament. There is a minor setback when a key player sprains a muscle and two members of staff have to support him while waiting for a wheelchair. It takes more than 20 minutes to arrive, during which time I struggle with crowd control. We all agree it would have been quicker and just as effective to fetch a trolley.

friday There’s much hilarity in the staffroom as the Trolley Dollies practise their dance routine. A debate follows about costumes and music, while the deputy head calculates how much money we could raise touring the LEA. I’m disappointed by his lack of ambition - this is too big for Slough.

We’re going national.

Debbie Rainer is a mature NQT at Priory school in Slough