Tuesday The free fruit at playtime helps remove more wobbly teeth. But at the end of the day, a parent comes to see me. Her daughter is finding it difficult to bite into the fruit with her wobbly tooth, which won’t budge despite two apples, a mandarin and a pear. The parent suggests swapping to more “tooth friendly” jelly. I don’t think that is quite what the healthy fruit scheme had in mind.

Wednesday The children are discussing what they would like to be when they grow up. Beatrice: “I want to be a doctor! I like helping people.” James:

“I want to be an astronaut, they have so much fun!” Natalie: “I would like the tooth fairy’s job! She gets to wear pretty clothes and peek into other people’s houses!” Lewis: “I want to be a dentist!”

Thursday It’s class assembly and I am quietly panicking about the absentees I have just noted in the register. Adam’s Mum rushes in to say he has jammed his loose tooth in his gum and cannot take part. Adam peers at me, wide-eyed, clutching a soggy handkerchief to his mouth. He is unable to speak and so will be of no use in assembly today. I quickly reassign his part and smile through gritted teeth as the pupils show off their toothless smiles.

Friday The assembly went well. As a reward, I give the class extra golden time in the afternoon. As they make models and dive into the dressing-up box, I look on with pride. However, at tidying-up time I discover that Lewis is dressed as a dentist, with a tribe of followers willing to demonstrate a range of tooth pulling methods. Across the room, another group has made a variety of boxes containing special treasure: a collection of their classmates’ teeth.

Rebecca Brown teaches at an infant school in the South West. She writes under a pseudonym