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There is nothing like a dame

Pupils have been howling their way through some of Scotland's seasonal stage shows - oh yes they have! - and giving their views to The TESS.


King's Theatre, Edinburgh

(children from Drumbrae Primary, Edinburgh)

"Gertie, the Dame, was one of my favourite characters. She kept going behind the wall and five seconds later she was dressed in a different costume. She kept saying, 'Am I bovvered?' and was always doing all the jokes. She had a costume that had Big Top written on it and the bad guy said to her, 'You've got a big top.' And she looked behind him and said, 'You've got a big bottom.'

There were lots of bear jokes. The baddie told the little bear he was going to take him home in bare feet. There were a lot of good songs. My favourite one was probably 'We Will Rock You'."

Bruce Wilson, 7

"It was hilarious. I thought it was going to be just about Goldilocks and the three bears, but it turned out to be very funny. Tweedy, the main clown kept on slipping on the shaving foam and whenever anybody said 'Goldilocks' he fell over because he loved Goldilocks.

In between certain parts, they shot party-poppers out with these cannon things and everyone was fighting to get them. The bit that everybody enjoyed most was throwing the sponge bricks at the gorillas."

Rhys McNicol, 10

"It was one of the best pantomimes I have seen. There was quite a lot of activity for the children and adults. They gave us some square foam things to hit people on stage with.

The villains put shaving foam on our headteacher, Mrs Paterson, and Mrs Young, a P2 teacher, had to kiss the dame on the ear and the hand.

It was funny because she had to kiss him where he was hurt and then he was hurt on the bum but she said 'no'. The dame had shoes that pumped every time she took a step. The guy from the TV show Raven was in it. That was good."

Jay Quinn, 8

"I liked it when the people were doing all the gymnastics. Me and my friends kept thinking they were going to fall. A girl did a flip and landed on someone's hands, and they used skipping ropes when they were on someone's shoulders.

Another bit that was really funny was when they had a golf cart and this guy wearing a traffic warden's jacket came out, put a ticket on it and said, 'Welcome to Edinburgh.' I really liked the costumes."

Caitlin Butler, 11

"I enjoyed the pantomime because Tweedy was so, so funny. He just done stuff funny. There was shaving foam on the floor and he kept slipping on it. I liked the bit when we had to throw some wee sponge cubes at the gorillas but the gorillas threw them back and one hit me in the eye. I liked it when Goldilocks was getting to steal the bears to free them. It was really good."

Lori Duncan, 6


His Majesty's Theatre, Aberdeen

(children from Smithfield Primary, Aberdeen)

"I like Aladdin because he dressed as Spiderman. Spiderman was my favourite because he kept swinging down and he did a whoosh dance on the floor on the stage. Aladdin's mum, she was so funny. She was trying to put her knickers on - that was so funny because I saw her pants. She was trying to put them on. She got one of her pants legs on and she tried to get the other leg on but she took them off. Then she threw them away because she was doing an umbrella dance."

Scott Finch, 8

"I liked it when this wizard guy was trying to hypnotise Aladdin and Aladdin says, 'You are starting to get smelly.' And he said, 'You are under my control' and Aladdin says, 'You need a bath.'

My favourite bit was when they got married at the end. And I thought it was cool when we put on these 3D glasses and the wizard opened the rock door and everyone was screaming because all the rocks looked like they were falling."

Brandon Duffy, 7

"It was really funny because there was Aladdin's mum and there was Aladdin and they were speaking some funny language. They were speaking very common in Scottish. They were saying lots and lots of Scots words like 'Aye'.

There were some scary bits as well, there were spiders and creepy crawlies, dragonflies, and there was bats coming out of a cave. And they went underwater on a magic carpet and there was a big crocodile and they went right through its mouth. Aladdin's mum was wearing girl knickers - they were like long boxer things that came right down to the bottom of her legs."

Demi McCafferty, 8 and a half

"The best bit I liked was there were these glasses in 3D and everything looked real and everyone fell asleep because it was so long.

I like the end because it was a happy ending and they got married. They were in love the whole way through, but Aladdin nearly got his head chopped because whoever looked at the Princess got his head chopped off. The bad guy said he was going to get the lamp and we said, 'Oh no you won't' and he said, 'Oh yes we will.' And we kept saying it."

Amy Milne, 8

It was fun. The best bit was when you had to put the glasses on and the stuff came right out into your face. My favourite character was Princess Jasmine because she's a good singer and she wears nice clothes. They had nice jewels and everything on them.

If you looked at the Princess you would get your head chopped off by the Princess's mother. And the bad one was ... I've forgotten his name. Aladdin's mum kept calling him Have a Banana.

I would give it 10 out of 10.

Rebecca Fraser, 8


King's Theatre, Glasgow

(children from Howford Primary, Glasgow and St Kessog's, Balloch)

"My favourite character was Chester the Jester. He told lots of jokes and was really funny. After Princess Beauty pricked her finger and died, Chester froze everyone for 100 years with Nanny's wand by mistake. He meant to say 100 days but said 100 years by accident.

Later he found Nanny and they went to see Shrek's cousin to get a magic sword to rescue everyone. Nanny said he would have to go through the Forest of Fire and the Desert of Death to find the witch, and when Chester asked where that was, she said, 'Castlemilk." Everyone thought that was funny. Chester sang a song about scratching your bum and he had a water gun. He soaked everyone. It was really good."

Ryan Wilson, 11

"We went to see Sleeping Beauty. The wicked witch had curly hair. She killed Sleeping Beauty in a game and the Prince kissed her and she woke up.

I liked it when Beauty was a baby princess when she farted at her birthday party. That was funny. The wicked witch was ugly and she fancied the king.

See the old woman, the fairy godmother, I liked her. She was saying, 'See me! I'm one of Charlie's Angels!' and she was dancing about like this (struts about). I liked it on the coach as well, and I liked the goody bags."

Orla Moore, 8

"The wicked witch cast a spell on the fairy godmother and she disappeared in a puff of smoke. I wondered where she had gone. I got a bit of a fright. Only her wand and her shoes were left and there was smoke coming out of her shoes ... but she came back later and found her shoes.

At the end, Chester was telling jokes and we were all laughing and the wicked witch was laughing too - she couldn't help it. But the more she laughed, the smaller she got. Then she just disappeared and was dead at the end. Shrek was there as well. He was an ogre. But I don't think it was the real Shrek. It was someone dressed up as Shrek."

John Pizzey, 11

"The wicked witch hated the sound of laughter, so at the end Chester got a joke book and started telling jokes. 'Why did the chicken cross the road to the park? To get to the other slide!' They were really bad jokes, but very funny. I loved Chester's funny dancing. He dressed as a hippy and had a big Afro."

Shaun Ronald, 10

"I've never been to the panto before and I thought it was really good. My favourite character was Nanny. She was funny. She always did nice spells. She was a good character.

The wicked witch was very bad. I thought she was scary. Everyone was booing her and she said, 'Don't you boo me.' She was quite rude.

I liked the good fairy. Everyone cheered her. That was the happy bit. I want to be an actress and play the Princess."

Paula McLean, 7

"I liked the bit when Chester dressed up as a woman and put balloons up his top, and then the witch came along and burst them. I think he put them there to make out he had big boobs. That was funny.

I liked it when Shrek appeared and I liked it when the Princess kissed the Prince and everyone went, 'Oooo!' I liked everything."

Candice Binnie, 10

Interviews by Sue Leonard (Edinburgh), Jean McLeish (Aberdeen) and Shirley English (Glasgow).

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