We don’t mean the heads trying to second guess the external assessors (who seem to know as little about the system as the rest of us).

No, we mean the local authority types in white coats and calculators who, come September or some point thereafter, will have to make sure the money gets into school budgets and hence into pay packets.

You’d think it would be straightforward - pound;2,000 per teacher, an extra pound;166.67 per month (before tax) from September. But some peopl won’t be formally passed until as late as December, and it will all have to be backdated. Plus, no one knows how many will pass.

Hence the handy ready-reckoner that has gone round to council treasurers from the DFEE’s top pay bod, Anne Jackson, to help them work out how much they’re going to get each month from the Government.

Handy? It runs to 14 pages of dense, nay impenetrable, maths which even the Diary (grade D, further maths A-level, back when it was hard) struggled with.

We’d reprint a bit of it here, but frankly, we’d rather run some other stories.