On toast for 'wee bobbie

No doubt about the hit of the secondary heads' conference in Crieff (page six). Stewart Coull. He's not a heidie but retired support for learning teacher in Uddingston. South Lanarkshire, Coull admitted, made him an offer he could not understand and off he went into the after-dinner comic circuit in the west of Scotland. Doing rather nicely, thank you. And so to the favourite tale of the heidies (male and female).

A wee lad complained to his mum about his "wee bobbie". Mother whisked him off to the doctor who prescribed "plenty dry toast".

Next morning the lad traipsed down to breakfast to be met with a mountain of dry toast.

"Is that for me?" the boy asked.

"No. It's for your dad. You're getting a boiled egg."

Crieff Hydro Hotel toasters were doing overtime next day.

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