We've selected 10 of the funniest comments overheard in the classroom from our archives. Have you heard anything as funny since you've returned to school?
Tweet us your entries to @tes with the hashtag #TESoverheard or email email@example.com and the best entry of the week will get a flashing TES pen and TES mug. Ooooooooh...
Teacher: "What technique is being used in this poem?"
Student: "It's a metaphor."
Second student (laughing): "He said metaphor - that's when women don't get their periods anymore."
Student: "Bob Geldof went to Africa to shave the orphans."
Farmhand (pointing to the turkeys): "What do you think these are? Clue: you eat them at Christmas."
Six-year-old student: "Miss, are you a lesbian?"
Teacher: "I don't think that's an appropriate question."
Student: "Well, you don't eat meat, do you?"
Teacher: "You mean vegetarian."
During a discussion in a history lesson.
Student: "In the war, some soldiers wore bulletproof breasts."
Watching a DVD of Jesus Christ Superstar.
Student whispering to neighbour: "Does he die in the end?"
Student: "In 1845, the Irish people were dying of salvation."
Student: "What's Obama's surname?"
A pupil is being reprimanded for making a toy gun.
Head: "I was told you were pointing this at people and shouting 'bang, bang'."
Pupil (indignant): "I didn't!"
Head: "Are you saying your teacher is lying?"
Pupil: "No, I said 'pow, pow'."
From a homework project in which students were asked to research the life and work of a famous scientist:
"Stephen Hawkins (sic) showed that space and time would start with the big band and end with black holes."