The heidie knew he had been to Turkey and, not unreasonably, assumed the straying porkers had blocked the road from the resort.
"Oh, no," said the tanned teacher. "It happened on my way back from Manchester airport when an animal transporter shed its load on the M6."
The heidie could have been forgiven for suggesting that with six weeks' holiday getting back on time should not have been too difficult, but accepted his excuses. She might not have been so obliging if she had known the teacher was in Turkey for three weeks in July, returned home, took one look at the weather and hotfooted it back to sunny climes.