It made my day when... a GCSE pupil told me he’d chosen to do my subject at A-level when he goes into the sixth-form.

Senior managers don’t know it, but... secretly, I let my class get away with making rude words out of the mnemonics that other staff use in their teaching. Great for literacy!

I couldn’t keep a straight face when... the dad of one pupil in my tutor group asked me out on a date. I had told him how much trouble his son was in. He said, “If I take you out for dinner next week, will that make everything OK?” I laughed and said, “Mr Smith, that might convince me but I’m not sure all his other teachers would agree.”

I’m not looking forward to... the day pupils in my tutor group leave. We’ve had a fair few ups and downs but I think they’ll miss me as much as I will miss them. I’ve had them for five years now. And when they leave next year, so will I.

I’d never live it down if... people at school knew my online identities.

I’d really like to tell the headteacher... the many stories about what the previous head got up to in that office. Eeww!

I honestly believe that... photocopiers are a bit like boyfriends. Pay them compliments and they’ll do anything for you. If they stop working, give them a kick and they soon know who’s boss.

At the beginning of the week I look forward to... hearing the gossip from my Year 10s from the events of the weekend. For some reason, they tell me everything. And I mean everything.

At the end of the week I look forward to... running for a train to go to my boyfriend’s place for the weekend.

My friends think... that I’m outspoken, truthful, and mad - the perfect teacher.

pound;50 paid for your true confessions. To tell all, send an email (in the strictest confidence) to fiona.flynn@tes.co.uk