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Want to know a secret?

I knew I'd become a teacher when... I had my first argument with a non-teaching friend about how teachers do not finish work at three thirty in the afternoon. And yes, we may have long holidays, but that's the only time we get to sleep, relax and see our family.

My school is... on that fine line between being a dynamic, fast-paced and inspirational place to work and just plain manic.

I'm not looking forward to... Ofsted knocking on the door. My department is highly strung enough without the added pressure of inspectors watching our every move.

In five years' time I'd like to... be teaching abroad in a British school in the tropics. The idea of small classes, sunshine and tax-free living appeals.

If I had the guts I'd tell the head that ... he should leave his luxurious office once in a while and get back into the classroom. Taking the odd Year 7 class every now and again does not constitute keeping in touch with teaching.

My worst work nightmare is ... senior management don't know it but I'm writing this while invigilating a Year 8 exam.

My favourite bit of the week is ... lunchtime. I've usually expended so much energy in the morning that I cannot wait to get to the canteen. My arrival, however, is invariably met with disappointment when I see what is on offer.

Jamie Oliver is yet to visit my school.

I hate teachers who... are competitive. Some teachers seem to have to broadcast how great they are at every possible juncture. The staffroom is for relaxing, not listening to them as they blow their own trumpets.

The weekend is for... avoiding pupils in town. There is nothing worse than getting a rundown from your children on Monday morning at school of where you have been spotted and everything you did over the weekend.

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