A stalker’s paradise, the Ways With Words festival, which ends on Sunday, promises to hem all your favourite authors into the confines of Dartington Hall, a medieval dwelling near Totnes, Devon, where you can collar them, badger them for autographs and bother them with inane questions such as: “Where do you get your ideas from?”

Tickets for events are individually priced from about pound;8, with Kate Mosse and Penelope Lively holding court for the novelists and Jon Snow and Jonathan Dimbleby representing the current affairs massive.

The blurb says: “The setting is glorious, the atmosphere is invigorating. People come together in spectacular surroundings to share the pleasure and power of language and ideas. The warmth and energy of this lively gathering make it a memorable occasion.”

And if such gushing makes you feel faintly nauseous, be warned they’ll be plenty more of it. Book yourself into a local Bamp;B or campsite or consider an en suite room in the beautiful medieval courtyard.

www.wayswithwords.co.uk.