THIS WEEK 25-31 MAY 2013
Crime scene examination
When police tape appeared outside Lady Hawkins' School in Herefordshire, England, locals thought there had been a murder. The principal assured callers it was just students studying for a forensic science qualification.
Simply the best, please
I don't care if you want to be a DJ: it's Oxford for you, young man. Sir Michael Wilshaw, head of English schools inspectorate Ofsted, accused schools of failing to push their best students to go to top universities.
Thrills and bills
Research revealed that the cost of tickets to top amusement parks has risen by up to 60 per cent in four years. It'll take a lot of rides on the Thunderbolt Death Twister to get your money's worth now.
It's English Wine Week and we have been encouraged to forgo more famous vintages for a glass of Chateau de London. Helpfully for teachers, the boozing coincides with the half-term holiday. Don't forget to spit.
Ready to save lives
National Hurricane Preparedness Week took place in the US, with schools and workplaces urged to get ready for the windy season. The event came after a devastating tornado hit Oklahoma earlier this month.
Our future in their hands
Bigwigs from the worlds of politics, business, public services and academia gathered in Paris for OECD Week. They discussed how to save a generation from joblessness as austerity grinds on.
Members of football's governing body Fifa are meeting on the tropical island of Mauritius for their annual congress. The island was the first to benefit from new grass-roots funding for the sport. Pass the rum, Sepp!
NEXT WEEK 1-7 JUNE 2013
Say it loud and proud
"Homosexuality and the Bible" is the title of one of hundreds of events during Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Month in the US. Also watch out for the Burlesque is More stage show in Chicago.
It's a boozy fortnight, all right. The Great Japan Beer Festival is taking place in Tokyo, with about 5,500 people expected to attend. Let's hope someone has remembered to book the portable toilets.
Manning trial begins
To some he's an enemy of the state; to others, a national hero. The trial begins of Bradley Manning, the US soldier alleged to have passed classified military and diplomatic data to the WikiLeaks website.
The announcement of the new Children's Laureate is a highlight of the British literary calendar. But who will follow the incumbent, Gruffalo author Julia Donaldson? Children and librarians will have a say.
Baggy is big again
Erstwhile Madchester devotees will be delighted that director Shane Meadows' documentary Made of Stone, about The Stone Roses' latest reunion, is released today. All together now: "I am the resurrection ..."
Empowering young women
"It's fun to stay at the YWCA ..." Forget the Village People song - at the annual gathering of the Young Women's Christian Association USA, delegates will discuss "reproductive justice" and other issues.
The paper industry is saved! Best-selling horror writer Stephen King has announced that his new novel, Joyland, published this week, will not be released as an e-book. "Let people go to an actual bookstore," he said.