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1 A flock of sheep is hoping for a Christmas number one hit. What is their favourite carol?

a Sheep may safely graze

b While shepherds watched

c Away in a manger

d They don't have one. They're sheep

2 The Pope has abolished Limbo. Who was in there?

a Unbaptised babies

b Dancers with grotesquely overdeveloped thighs

c Far too many ancient Greek poets

d The Liberal Democrats

3 A headteacher has banned Christmas cards to save trees. What else should be banned?

a School dinners, to save celebrity sheep

b Pupils, to save teachers

c Teachers, to save money

d The Liberal Democrats, to save time

4 Vandals have set fire to a 43ft-high festive straw goat in Sweden. Why?

a They were afraid it might sing

b To save it from drunken elks

c There isn't much else to do in Sweden

d All of the above

5 A pet hotel has opened in Tokyo. Who will stay there?

a Celebrity sheep

b Tamagotchis

c Poisonous fish

d 43ft-high paranoid festive Swedish goats

QUIZ ANWERS: 1d, 2a, 3b, 4c, 5d.

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