a I always wanted a big family

b What am I going to do with all these little jars?

c Just don’t mention birthday presents

d I’ve got to get to work on an egg

2 The latest electric kettles contribute to global warming. Where will this end?

a Tea will become more expensive than caviar

b The Mafia will muscle in on the hot-water-bottle market

c Charles Kennedy will have to give up soft drinks

d The Government will pull the plug on them

3 A new board game has appeared based on the Buddhist wheel of life, complete with heaven and hell. Who wants it?

a Sturgeon

b Liberal Democrats

c Competitive Buddhists

d Electric kettle manufacturers

4 A pound;9.4m lottery ticked went unclaimed. What could it have bought?

a An awful lot of caviar

b An awful lot of hot water bottles

c An awful lot of small, waterproof birthday presents

d Happiness

5 Unwanted Christmas gifts worth over pound;50m appeared on eBay. What did they include?

a Caviar dish and spoon sets

b Hot water bottles marked ‘made in Sicily’

c Games based on world religions

d Socks