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1 Chinese mitten crabs are invading British waters. How should they be handled?

a With kid gloves b With chopsticks c With hundreds of tanks d With Penicillin 2 Crooks are learning to outwit the police by watching TV cop shows. What do teachers think?

a Thank God they've taken off Grange Hill b Any chance of a programme about school inspectors?

c I thought Crime Scene Investigation was something to do with 4B metalwork d Don't worry, it won't work. I taught most of them 3 A musical about Margaret Thatcher is on tour. Which of these songs does it feature?

a No milk today b Marching through Georgia c My way d All of the above 4 Parents have complained about an explicit sex guide. What is their problem?

a They wish they'd read it much earlier b Their kids have stopped playing computer games and just sit around all day reading c There aren't enough pictures d They just haven't got the energy any more 5 Silvio Berlusconi has compared himself to Jesus. What do Italians say?

a I thought it was the other way round b I'm sure he could raise the dead if there were votes in it c Book early for Silvio Berlusconi superstar d Does he know how it ends?

ANSWERS: 1b, 2a, 3d, 4a, 5d.

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