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Were you paying attention?

1 A group of schoolchildren recently set up an arms-dealing company. What did their teachers say?

a Of course you can have an A+

b I bet their parents did most of it

c Sports day should be fun this year

d Why is the teachers' car park full of Polish tanks?

2 People are selling Blue Peter badges on eBay. Why?

a They want to get Blue Peter badges for initiative

b They need the money to buy squeezy bottles and glue

c They need the money to buy Polish tanks

d Because people are stupid enough to pay several hundred pounds for them so that they can get into Madame Tussauds for free

3 A study has found that toddlers who have been to nursery school are brighter and more aggressive. What do their teachers say?

a That is not an appropriate use for a plastic brick

b Oh my God, they're organised

c Get out of that Polish tank and drink your milk

d Maurice has just sold the reception class on eBay

4 Hundreds of primary school children are being expelled for having drugs and alcohol. What do their teachers say?

a At least they sleep in the afternoons

b It couldn't happen to us, could it?

c Confiscation is a wonderful thing

d Get out of that Polish tank and drink your gin

5 The Germans have the highest average IQ in Europe. What do the Germans say?

a Told you so

b Our superiority begins in Kindergarten

c Where can I buy a Blue Peter badge?

d Would you like to buy a Polish tank?

QUIZ ANSWERS:1a, 2d, 3c, 4d, 5b

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