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1 The DfES is one of the worst government wasters of water. What else does it waste?

a Money b Time c Space d All of the above

2 The National College for School Leadership says not all schools need a head. Whatever next?

a Turkeys will vote for Christmas b Charlton Heston will shoot himself in the foot c The DfES will shoot itself in the foot, probably with a water pistol d The NCSL will shoot itself in the head, and miss

3 Research shows that stone-age Britons had a one in twenty chance of being bashed on the head. What do teachers think?

a Ah, those were the days b They didn't all need heads anyway c I blame the parents d Back then they had to make their own fun

4 An academic claims that books raise standards more than computers. What do teachers say?

a What do you mean, where's the mouse?

b In the old days I could have bashed you on the head with it c Open your books at page 5. It comes right after page 4 d No, you can't cut and paste it into your coursework

5 A report shows that academy schools are failing to improve results. What do teachers say?

a I blame the parents b They're a waste of time and money. And possibly water c It's nothing a good book wouldn't solve d It's nothing a good bash round the head wouldn't solve

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