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1 A darts school of excellence is planned for children from the age of seven. What will they learn?

a Where to stand b How to aim c Subtraction d All of the above

2 A report says the number of truants is up, but schools can be better off without them. What do teachers say?

a Am I missing something here?

b I hope they're good at darts c It's hardly worth turning up nowadays d Haven't you got a shopping centre to go to?

3 The Isle of Wight council spent pound;2,500 on baseball caps with 'thinking' written on them, to help senior staff find ways to reduce costs.

What is the locals' view?

a Am I missing something here?

b Is the scheme being independently evaluated?

c What happens when they take them off?

d What's written on the rest of their clothing?

4 Australian cricket fans have been told they can call the English Poms, as long as they don't add rude adjectives. What do the Australians say?

a Anything they damn well like b What's an adjective?

c Read my baseball cap d Oh, it's only a f****** game

5 The Pope met Muslim leaders to apologise for his earlier controversial speech. What did he say?

a Fourteenth-century Byzantine emperors, eh. What can you do?

b Read my skull cap c Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa d Hello, I'm God's rottweiler, but you can call me Rotty if you like.

1c, 2d, 3b, 4a, 5a

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