It might be premature to buy a commemorative mug, but rumours that Prince William will marry Kate Middleton this autumn have set virtual tongues wagging in the online staffroom.
Dorset wished the young prince the best of luck. “He’s a good role model for boys today - and it is a pity that many of the students I teach don’t have the same desire to do stuff for charities.”
Shortlister seemed less excited, noting that he wasn’t entirely sure which prince was which. “It’s a bit like a royal Ant ‘n’ Dec,” he said. “Is William the one who flies the helicopter or the one who got pulled out of Iraq? Or was that Harry?”
The most important question for schools was asked by mrsmaths: “Do we get a day off if they get married?”
Dorset was cynical about such a wedding bonus after a week of headlines about pupil voice: “No doubt the General Teaching Council and the senior management team in many schools will consult children before they take such a decision - like they seem to be doing on every other decision these days.”
Buntycat was more pessimistic: “I’ll bet they get married in the school holidays just to spite us - like Charles and Diana.”
Spookier goings-on were being discussed on the Scottish teachers’ forum. Kibosh wondered if anyone else had witnessed a school haunting, as he believed he had a few years ago.
He arrived early in the morning at his department building, which was based away from the main school and locked. Working alone, he suddenly heard furniture being moved around in a nearby classroom.
“The hairs on the back of my neck prickled and I felt really uneasy. No one could have entered that classroom without me hearing them,” he said. “A few days later I mentioned it to one of the teachers (an ex-cop). To my surprise, for such a hard-bitten pragmatist, he told me that he thought the building was haunted. Apparently, a few years ago, a teacher committed suicide by hanging themself from the rafters.”
If there is one thing that annoys teachers more than poor grammar and spelling on shop signs, it is when they find mistakes on notices in schools.
“It drives me insane,” fumed JennyReyn.
“The greengrocers’ apostrophe is all over my school and I just want to walk around with a red marker pen scrawling ‘MUST TRY HARDER’ on all the displays.”
Should schools open on Saturdays?
NO - 85%
YES - 15%
To vote in next week’s poll www.tes.co.ukpoll.
