Online howlers

20th August 2004 at 01:00
It had to happen: a website for school and classroom howlers. Masterminded and compiled by Robert Morrison, head of modern languages in a Glasgow secondary, allscottishteachers.co.uk offers teachers the chance to share their funnier moments. And not just in Scotland - the reach is global.

Some of the items posted since the site was set up earlier this year are classics, like the attendance officer who received this explanation from a parent: "J was kept off school yesterday as he was upset having been caught truanting."

Or the accidentally ambiguous school PA demand: "Would all pupils stop aimlessly throwing snowballs in the playground."

Other tales have that authentic local flavour, such as the depute head who plucked up courage to speak to a Glaswegian mother about her son's BO, which provoked the response: "He's here tae be telt, no tae be smelt. He's no a f***in' geranium."

Teachers themselves, of course, can be the source of much ribaldry. There was the new French assistant called Fany (a common name) who was persuaded by the modern languages staff at the school to change her name to Marie for the year to avoid any problems.

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