Online howlers

20th August 2004 at 01:00
It had to happen: a website for school and classroom howlers. Masterminded and compiled by Robert Morrison, head of modern languages in a Glasgow secondary, offers teachers the chance to share their funnier moments. And not just in Scotland - the reach is global.

Some of the items posted since the site was set up earlier this year are classics, like the attendance officer who received this explanation from a parent: "J was kept off school yesterday as he was upset having been caught truanting."

Or the accidentally ambiguous school PA demand: "Would all pupils stop aimlessly throwing snowballs in the playground."

Other tales have that authentic local flavour, such as the depute head who plucked up courage to speak to a Glaswegian mother about her son's BO, which provoked the response: "He's here tae be telt, no tae be smelt. He's no a f***in' geranium."

Teachers themselves, of course, can be the source of much ribaldry. There was the new French assistant called Fany (a common name) who was persuaded by the modern languages staff at the school to change her name to Marie for the year to avoid any problems.

Log-in as an existing print or digital subscriber

Forgotten your subscriber ID?


To access this content and the full TES archive, subscribe now.

View subscriber offers


Get TES online and delivered to your door – for less than the price of a coffee

Save 33% off the cover price with this great subscription offer. Every copy delivered to your door by first-class post, plus full access to TES online and the TES app for just £1.90 per week.
Subscribers also enjoy a range of fantastic offers and benefits worth over £270:

  • Discounts off TES Institute courses
  • Access over 200,000 articles in the TES online archive
  • Free Tastecard membership worth £79.99
  • Discounts with Zipcar,, Virgin Wines and other partners
Order your low-cost subscription today