For example, who should order the cake and strawberries for the summer party? I feel this is down to the chair. The head should organise staff leaving presents but in practice this can often be delegated to the deputy.

Greeting minor visiting dignitaries is a shared responsibility, but the chair should take precedence if members of the royal family are involved. Unlikely, I admit: but the great thing is to have a policy in place.

There has been much discussion at local and national level about who should be in the stocks or the wet sponge throwing at the annual fete. My head and I agree that this can safely be delegated to a junior member of staff.

Clarification is needed on whether governor attendance at sports days and carol concerts should be compulsory and a limit needs to be set on governors’ contributions to sponsored events and raffle prizes. Male chairs should, of course, be required to own, and wear, a Santa Claus outfit.

My head’s priorities for the holidays were reviewing the school development plan and painting the medical room. Bizarrely, there is no reference to interior decoration in the new regulations. More work needed.

Joan Dalton