Miss, I really don’t want to be him,

With a cloak of bright red and a towel on my head

And a cotton wool beard on my chin.

* Oh Miss, please don’t make me a shepherd.

I just won’t be able to sleep.

I’ll go weak at the knees and wool makes me sneeze

And I really am frightened of sheep.

* Oh Miss, I just can’t be the landlord,

Who says there’s no room in the inn.

I’ll get in a fright when it comes to the night

And I know that I’ll let Mary in.

* Oh Miss, you’re not serious - an angel ?

Can’t Peter take that part instead ?

I’ll look such a clown in a white silky gown,

And a halo stuck up on me head.

* Oh Miss, I am not being a camel !

Or a cow or an ox or an ass !

I’ll look quite absurd and I won’t say a word,

And all of the audience will laugh.

* Oh Miss, I’d rather not be a Wise Man,

Who brings precious gifts from afar.

But the part right for me, and I hope you’ll agree, In this play - can I be the star ?

(From : The Day Our Teacher Went Batty, by Gervase Phinn, to be published

in March by Puffin)